


Lighthouse

by Maverick



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-17
Updated: 2014-05-17
Packaged: 2018-01-25 10:05:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1644857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maverick/pseuds/Maverick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney's like a beacon, a shining light to guide him home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lighthouse

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to **pirl** for the quick readthrough and suggestions.

Awesome cover by **Pollitt**

"This isn't real."  
  
Rodney walks into view, the sunlight through the panes of glass flickering a wash of colored squares across his torso -- a patchwork quilt that John wants to wrap himself up in. "Of course it's not real. Currently, you're passed out on the floor of the cell after Kolya..."  
  
Rodney doesn't finish his sentence -- the tense set of his jaw and the immobility of his normally nimble fingers speaking volumes. He takes a deep breath. "And I'm sure I'm busy on Atlantis having a loud, sputtering freak-out having watched you get fed upon."  
  
John knows the truth. Rodney might be freaking out on the inside, but he's working to find him -- to bring him home. They all are. Not that he's going to cut Rodney any slack. That isn't how they play this game. "Not exactly a picnic on my end either, buddy."  
  
The misery and horror on Rodney's face make John ache in places untouched by the Wraith.  
  
"Come here," Rodney commands, settling on the floor -- his back to the wall, his arms open and waiting.  
  
If John all but crawls to him -- letting his head rest on the familiar comfort of Rodney's lap -- he figures he's earned it. He lets himself drift, lulled by the steady beat of Rodney's heart, the gentle sweep of Rodney's fingers through his hair. But it's too quiet. And as soon as he thinks it, there's Rodney making conversation.  
  
"So this is what it looks like inside your head? Good lighting. Nice hardwood floors, sturdy even. I could point out that I'm not surprised that it's a big empty room, but you've had kind of a rough day."  
  
John smiles. "That's very big of you."  
  
He can feel Rodney shrug. "What can I say, I'm a magnanimous kind of guy."  
  
John snorts a laugh. "Megalomaniacal maybe."  
  
"I refuse to apologize for having a healthy sense of self."  
  
John rubs his face against Rodney's thigh. This feels to right. So _normal_ . "Well it's not like anything else about you can be called healthy, Mr. twelve cups of coffee a day."  
  
"Like you're one to talk. Even I don't hide Twinkies in my tac vest."  
  
"Only because you steal mine."  
  
Rodney's voice is pitched high but his hands are still gentle, warm against John's skin. "I don't steal. You always offer them."  
  
"It's the easiest way to get you to shut up. Face it McKay, you're more conditioned than Pavlov's dog."  
  
"Conditioned my ass. Hypoglycemic, remember. But don't think I won't be reminding you that you said that, the next time I have to save your ass."  
  
It's an old argument and it stretches across John like his favorite black t-shirt, worn and well loved. He finally feels at ease enough to ask. "So tell me." He doesn't want to ask, but he has to know.  
  
"What?"  
  
He takes a deep breath. Exhales. He's not sure how to word it. _How much life did he take? Can I apply for AARP now? On a scale of say one being Gall and ten being Sumner, where do I fall?_ He settles on simply, "How do I look?"  
  
John can feel Rodney tense beneath him. He turns his head so he can see Rodney's face. "I need to know."  
  
Sighing, Rodney bends down and kisses John's forehead, runs his hands across the planes of John's face. "Older. But still pretty."  
  
He can see the truth in Rodney's eyes -- the same adoration that's always there. But John's never really been sure what Rodney sees when he looks at him. He knows he's attractive, he uses it to his advantage when he must, but Rodney's always been different. It's like he sees below the surface to the very core of John. It used to terrify him, but now it's his safest harbor. "You're not just saying that?"  
  
"Yes, yes. You figured it out. I'm sure I'm just appearing to you here at this moment to reassure you that your rakish good looks are still intact."  
  
"Not feeling very rakish at the moment." And if that wasn't the understatement of the century...  
  
"Don't worry, I'm sure your gaggle of ascended groupies won't mind the crow's feet and salt and pepper hair. You can be the George Clooney of the Pegasus galaxy. It makes you look very distinguished. Well, as distinguished as some one as klutzy as you can pull off anyway."  
  
John knows he needs this. He needs Rodney being Rodney, sarcastic and unfaltering -- a steady beacon to light his way. But maybe that's not all he needs. He tightens his grip on Rodney's waist. "You're all heart McKay."  
  
Rodney rubs his thumb across the pulse point on John's neck. He leans close and whispers. "When it comes to you, I am. You need to hold on John."  
  
"I'm trying. I really am, but Christ, it _hurts_ ." He can admit that here, where he's safe and warm in Rodney's arms.  
  
Rodney folds himself around John. "I'd make it stop if I could. I'd take your place. I'd..."  
  
"I know." And John _does_ and maybe that's enough. Rodney's all around him now, stroking his hair, his back. With every one of Rodney's touches, the pain becomes more muted, almost bearable.  
  
"We're coming for you. I promise. We don't leave our people behind. You taught us that."  
  
"I know you are. I believe it." The _this time_ remains unsaid.  
  
Then Rodney's kissing him, breathing life into all those places the Wraith tried to scorch bare. He feels alive and with purpose. And when John wakes up, he swears he still feels the sweet press of Rodney's lips against his own.  
  
He's going to make it out of this. He _has_ to. He has too much waiting for him at home.  
  
  


 

 


End file.
